Announcements: Quintet, 8/9/05

Only Acceptable Excuses for Not Attending Ian's Gig Tuesday, vol. mxcvii

  • Believe Ian's recent suspension for using jazz steroids casts doubt on all his previous accomplishments
  • Appointed Ambassador to United Nations and need some serious time with the mustache groomer
  • Have never forgiven jazz for death of your father and will not rest until sweet vengeance is yours
  • Famous boyfriend won't allow you out of L.Ron's Summer Fun Center and Indoctrination Cage for more than three minutes at a time
  • Been really into watching mold grow on slice of sourdough on kitchen table lately
  • Judge somehow got the crazy idea that "house arrest" is supposed to take place in your house
  • Going to be guest-hosting Lithuanian Mineral Fertilizer Weekly (2:40-3:00 a.m., Channel 843) and need to work on your witty banter
  • Called up to Double-A Massapequa Mudbugs and need to impress the scouts with blazing 41-mph fastball
  • Not currently alive

... Everybody else better be there.WHAT: The Triumphant Return of the Original Ian Carey QuintetWHO: Ian Carey, trumpet, with:Adam Shulman, pianoEvan Francis, saxophoneFred Randolph, bassJon Arkin, drumsWHERE: The House of Shields, 39 New Montgomery St. (betw.Market & Mission)WHEN: Tuesday, August 9, 5:30-8:30 p.m.HOW MUCH: Nothin'.

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