An Invitation to My Gig Tuesday, as Performed by the Man Who Changes to a Different Stereotypical Character with Each Phrase
Avast, ye scurvy dogs and wenches! Come on down to the rootin’est, tootin’est hayride West a’ Market Street—Verily, I speaketh of Ye Olde House of Shields, m’lords and ladies of our faire Realm. I knew that dive was trouble from the minute I walked in—a tall drink of trouble by the name of Ian. This hoser’s gonna play the trumpet, eh!
And that gone cat Fred Randolph’s like swingin’ on the bass, daddy-o! If you call now, you’ll also receive, at no additional cost to you, John Arkin on the drums and his handy carrying case—FREE! Adam Shulman will not rest until he has used his invincible Flying Toad Style piano technique to avenge the death of his master, and Humanoid Unit Evan Francis will utilize his Saxophonic Tone Generator to stimulate the aesthetic nodes of all Earthlings in the vicinity.
They gonna play-a good jazz, just-a like-a Mamma used to make! You vant dat I should tell you vat time is it, well, it’s five-toity to eight-toity, vit de playing and de socializin’ and de big tipping, I tell you. It’s like totally about the love and togetherness, so all you have to bring is some good vibes, man! Ve haff vays of making you attend!