Self-Promotion is a Four-Letter Word, Followed by a Nine-Letter Word
Top 8 Favorite Lame Pickup Lines, revised to promote my gig next Tuesday at the House of Shields:
8. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again on Tuesday night at my gig?
7. If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against my gig Tuesday night?
6. There’s you with all those curves and here’s me with a gig Tuesday night and no brakes.
5. Do you have any raisins? Then how ’bout a date, like Tuesday August 10th, a date on which I happen to have a gig?
4. Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got “fine” written all over you, and also you’ll probably get a parking ticket while you’re at my gig Tuesday night.
3. You must be Jamaican, ’cause Jamaican me crazy and Jamaicans drink free at my gig Tuesday night.
2. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together, and follow those with M, Y, G, I, G, T, U, E, S, D, A, Y, N, I, G, H, and T.
… and the Number One Favorite Lame Pickup Line, revised to promote my gig this Tuesday at the House of Shields:
1. We live under the constant threat of a terrorist attack. Do you want to die without coming to my gig Tuesday night?
WHAT: The Ian Carey Quintet
WHEN: Tuesday, August 10th, 5:30-8:30 p.m.
WHERE: The House of Shields, New Montgomery & Market (415) 495-5436
HOW MUCH: Zilch.