Announcements: Quintet, 8/9/05

Only Acceptable Excuses for Not Attending Ian's Gig Tuesday, vol. mxcvii

• Believe Ian's recent suspension for using jazz steroids casts doubt on all his previous accomplishments
  
  
• Appointed Ambassador to United Nations and need some serious time with the mustache groomer
  
  
• Have never forgiven jazz for death of your father and will not rest until sweet vengeance is yours
  
  
• Famous boyfriend won't allow you out of L.Ron's Summer Fun Center and Indoctrination Cage for more than three minutes at a time
  
  
• Been really into watching mold grow on slice of sourdough on kitchen table lately
  
  
• Judge somehow got the crazy idea that "house arrest" is supposed to take place in your house
  
  
• Going to be guest-hosting Lithuanian Mineral Fertilizer Weekly (2:40-3:00 a.m., Channel 843) and need to work on your witty banter
  
  
• Called up to Double-A Massapequa Mudbugs and need to impress the scouts with blazing 41-mph fastball
  
  
• Not currently alive

... Everybody else better be there.

WHAT: The Triumphant Return of the Original Ian Carey Quintet

WHO: Ian Carey, trumpet, with:
Adam Shulman, piano
Evan Francis, saxophone
Fred Randolph, bass
Jon Arkin, drums

WHERE: The House of Shields, 39 New Montgomery St. (betw.
Market & Mission)

WHEN: Tuesday, August 9, 5:30-8:30 p.m.

HOW MUCH: Nothin'.